Not Much Pushback.

Not a Lot of Pushback!

This year, I finally embarked on the promotion of my debut title – Learning to Live Loved: When a Fatherless Girl Becomes a Christian Woman. And I can’t lie, I was extremely nervous.

Throughout my writing journey, I was very open (on Facebook) about what I was remembering, experiencing, and feeling about growing up without a father, a childhood absent of a father’s presence, how it impacted me in my later years, how I’m finally discovering and addressing it, how the process of discovering and addressing it all was reshaping me, etc.

Now, being publicly open and transparent about my evolving self-awareness (and how I’m addressing things) has always been easy for me. For the most part, I don’t get caught up in the opinions and impressions of people – whether I know you or not. I decided long ago that my truth is my truth and that’s more than enough in itself.

Fortunately for me, I have a pretty dope friends list on Facebook. There’s often an expressed appreciation for my vulnerability and willingness to share openly my perspective. Some of the time, an interesting conversation is sparked with those who see differently or who may outright disagree with my truth, which is always okay and welcomed (so long as these individuals are reasonable and emotionally stable). But ultimately, there has always been a very sincere appreciation on different levels and for different reasons depending on the friend or associate my posts crossed paths with. The most enjoyable conversations are those where the door had been opened for folks to self-examine and ponder on the posture of their heart, or how they were processing their own traumas, or those who were avoiding the opportunities to discover the root of different issues and lacked the desire or courage to address their own traumas, wounds, and dysfunctions.

It’s the latter group that concerned me.

I began to recognize how easily certain people chose to overlook their current emotional and mental condition and then refused to examine their spiritual state. Some people are deeply entrenched in religion and indoctrination and here I am openly working to bridge the gap between the psychological and spiritual connection between past trauma and current condition.

That inner work feels daunting sometimes because that inner work is daunting sometimes. There are layers that will need to be peeled back and examined, there is a level of discovery that absolutely brings fear, trembling, and outright trepidation because that which you have known, can be undone within a blink of an eye.

The things you believed and held dear to your heart, the things that have shaped your perspective, the things you have stood on and staked a declarative claim on, could be unraveled right before your eyes as you begin that inner work. And that perception or sense of loss can usher in a season of anything from chaos and instability to confusion and the loss of your sense of self.

Who in their right mind wants to go through that? Who would want to introduce that level of upheaval to their lives! For some people, the fear of the unknown and the comfort of their familiar is worth their misery and their learned coping mechanisms. But that’s a different conversation for a day in the future.

All of these things were a great concern of mine when I began to consider ways to connect with women (and men) on the topic surrounding fatherlessness, the father wound, and the impact it has on our relationship with the Lord. Calling into question the depth of one’s relationship with the Lord is by far one of thee most offensive things you can do to a religious or person of faith. What I do not want to ever do is offend a sister (or brother) in Christ, let alone in that way. Despite and no matter the intention, one can easily find this conversation to be extremely insensitive and inappropriate.

“How dare you bring into question the authenticity of my relationship with my Jesus!”

Now, to be fair to myself, that’s not at all what I’m doing. But it’s still important to me that I be sensitive, tread lightly, and take tremendous care with the words I choose and the language I use to express and explain the over-arching point of my book – how can a sincere and fruitful Christian woman who grew up without a father, assimilate into her Father-daughter dynamic with the Lord if she has no reference point for such a relationship?

So picture me, a first-time author, sitting behind my first vendor table at a women’s conference, anticipating the opportunity to get my work into the hands of those with a similar parental background. I wasn’t necessarily nervous because my story is my story, my truth is my truth and although I know I’m not an anomaly, it was ever present in my heart to connect with the women God would send me in a meaningful and impactful way. And not for my own personal gain or benefit, but so that the eyes of their hearts would shift for a moment in the direction of the Holy Spirit, concerning the father wound.

Every…single….time, the moment I opened my mouth to share the topic of Learning to Live Loved and why I wrote it, there was an almost immediate interest. I could see how simply sharing the book title and subtitle, truly resonated with every woman that stopped by. And then to see that interest be made tangible through the purchase of my book blessed me in more ways than I can describe. I even garnered the interest of women who initially, didn’t feel that my experience was relatable. A few moments of sharing my story changed that. And for others, they were just genuinely interested in my perspective or simply wanted to support me. The blessings multiply exponentially no matter what!

I am walking in an assignment I didn’t realize was an assignment until after I finished the process of producing a work that pertains to a part of my history as a fatherless child and young woman. I had no idea that I would journey into no longer being fatherless, but beloved.

Walk with me.

#LearningtoLiveLoved